The Beast At The Christmas Party

            It was still pitch black at seven o’clock in the morning when I piloted my rusty red pickup truck into the parking lot of Green’s Pet Emporium about a week before Christmas. I was the manager of the large, independent pet store for the last six years while I ground my way through college and grad school. Green’s was the oldest, largest, family owned pet store in New Hampshire. Emily Green was the owner, matriarch, and soul of the store. She spent half her days dispensing free advice to customers about how to care for their dogs, cats, rabbits, turtles, birds, snakes, and fish. In addition to breeding many of the animals we sold, she was a consultant with local police departments on their K-9   units. Emily had probably forgotten more about animal husbandry and care than I would ever know. I unlocked the rear door and turned off the alarm. My black lab, Hunter, was ever impatient for breakfast and lopped over to his bowl to attack his food with gusto. I took off my coat, yawned and stretched, then drained the last of my coffee in one big gulp awaiting the brief but pleasant euphoria that came with fifteen dollar a pound Ethiopian dark roast. Walking around the store, I was cheered by thousands of tiny, blinking Christmas lights and decorations carefully positioned by Katie and I the day after Thanksgiving.

In the calm before the storm of a retail typhoon I realized that I needed to do my own Christmas shopping soon or I would be stuck giving gift cards like I did last year. I enjoyed giving real gifts, packages that a person could handle and guess at with ribbons and bows. Gift cards were the antiseptic panacea of people who had no imagination. Christmas was an insanely busy time because people not only bought pets but actually bought presents for their pets; expensive presents like hypo-allergenic doggie beds and expensive homes any self-respecting mutt would pee on. My dog got a steak on New Year’s day, and my Persian cat, Moxie, was given a bowl of goldfish. Emily wouldn’t have approved of the goldfish meal and was suspicious because I never brought home fish food or other supplies every year, only a dozen fat goldfish. We had a “don’t ask don’t tell” policy. She drew the line at the guys who owned large snakes and purchased a new puppy every few months. She hit the ceiling when she figured that one out.

After putting on a pot of the dark, Ethiopian coffee to which I was addicted, I sat down in the dog room and let the puppies jump all over me while I brushed them and made sure they looked clean. I was doing the same for the kittens when bells jingled on the back door. I heard Katie whistle bird calls as she passed the avian section.

“Hi Billy.” She handed me a cup of coffee and picked up a Persian kitten that had climbed up my sweater. “Here little guy, let’s let Mr. Grumpy enjoy his coffee in peace.”

“I’m not grumpy. I’m not much of a morning person, that’s all.” I said.

“You never talk to the birds.” She imitated a jay and I watched the dogs’ ears perk up. “I can do the Southern Chickadee now. It’s a little different than the New Hampshire Chickadee." I was amazed that her mouth and vocal cords could mimic an animal with such perfection.

“You should come and whistle at one of our gigs. I’m sure there’s a song you could solo on.”

“Mama said those places you play are too dangerous for me. It’s too loud and smoky anyway. How’s your coffee?”

“Great, you should try some.”

“Mama said coffee isn’t good for me. I like tea better. I’m going to get started with the fish now.” She put the kitten back in the pen with the others. “Oh, I had a dream that I went to medical school.”  She went to begin her duties.

Katie’s I.Q. was too high for her to be classified as mentally retarded and too low for her to follow her dream go to college to be a veterinarian. She had a heart of gold and her grandmother’s touch with the animals, willing to do the most menial jobs without complaining. Her mother had no interest in animals beyond what wealth they brought her. Geena came into the store every week to look over the books and argue with Emily. She had married a building contractor and spent her days shopping, drinking, and gossiping with her bimbo friends from high school. My brother was a co-owner of her husband’s company and he reported that all was not well in the DeLuca household. Katie lived with her grandmother since she graduated from high school and rarely spoke about her parents except to inform people of what her mother disapproved of; a lengthy list that was.

Emily arrived with two bloodhounds in tow. She was training them for the Windham New Hampshire Police Department.

“Morning Bill, hide these somewhere would you? I think these boys will find them in less than a minute.” She handed me two cloths as she removed her coat and donned a red Santa hat. She loved Christmas.

“What are they scented with?” I asked, looking at the brown spots on the cloths.

“Human blood, it’s from the crime lab.” She said.

“Won’t the dogs get confused with all the thousands of smells here?” I asked.

“No, these boys are destined for greatness.” She knelt down to pat them on the head.

I hid the two cloths in opposite sides of the store and Emily set the dogs to their tasks. They found their respective prizes in thirty seconds and were rewarded with doggie treats from Emily’s pockets.

Christmas shoppers arrived as soon as the doors were open. It was a good year for birds, especially finches and parrots. Green’s provided a service no other store did which was to deliver pets directly to the customers’ house on the week between Christmas and New Years. This made it easy to surprise children with puppies and allowed myself or Emily to show them basic animal care in their own home. Emily thought bringing a pet into the chaos of a house on Christmas day was tantamount to animal cruelty.

Although I was a salaried employee, Katie and I had a rivalry going on about who could sell the most between Thanksgiving and Christmas. She actually sold more of the exotic, venomous creatures: snakes, scorpions, spiders, than I did but I sold more exotic fish so it balanced out. I think that when people saw Katie handling those fierce creatures their fear was allayed. Katie had something of her grandmother’s touch with animals. I’d never seen an animal, not even a distempered kitten, bite or nip at Katie in anger. Animals instinctively trusted her. She always had a rat, ferret, or snake crawling on her. She was our own Dr. Doolittle.

I had just sold a pair of cooing, white doves to a young couple in love when a person of some importance arrived. He would forever change our lives.

The sky had been overcast and light snow was falling. I glanced out the window to see a sudden break in the clouds and sunlight came pouring through the large, plate glass windows of the store. In the parking lot two black Ford Explorers and a black Mercedes pulled up and parked sideways in the handicap spots. The vehicles had diplomatic plates. Large, unsmiling men wearing ear pieces opened the door of the Mercedes and escorted a dark haired man with an olive complexion man into the store.

Matt and Amy, the two high school kids who worked for us part-time throughout the year were ringing up people at the registers. They stopped to stare at the man and his entourage. Emily approached them with a smile and spoke briefly to the man of importance. She pointed and spoke while the man began walking the perimeter of the store where our fish tanks were. He moved slowly, as if he were in an aquarium. Some customers did that with their little kids. He wore a gray suit with a blue tie and had jet-black hair. His age was difficult to determine but it was somewhere between thirty and fifty. I wondered who he was and caught myself staring at him.

I was pulled out of my reverie by a little girl who tugged on my sweater and asked where the cat collars were. I sold her a pink rhinestone studded collar for her cat, whose name was Princess. By this time the man had moved half-way around the room and was still moving slowly, his security detail with him looking for danger I guess, around the display of fish. It looked strange but he wasn’t doing anything wrong.

Emily walked over to me carrying a bag of frozen mice, food for snakes, and  whispered, “He’s someone from the U.N. He’s looking for a gift for his secretary’s daughter. Keep an eye on him would you?”

“He’s a little out of his way wouldn’t you say? I mean, this is Salem New Hampshire.” I said.

“Maybe he has a vacation place here.” She walked away.

Katie pushed past me with a shopping carriage full of dry dog food bags and said, “Billy, I’m outselling you again.” She winked at me and laughed. “Hey, do you hear anything?”

I looked around, as if hearing was improved by head motion, and shook my head.

“The animals have been silent the entire time that man’s been the in the store.” She said and continued pushing the carriage to the registers.

Katie was correct. Not one animal had barked, chirped, hooted, meowed, or squealed. I heard the background music for the first time that day. It was usually drowned out by all the noise. The UN man was making his was past the cat and dog room. Emily walked over to see if he needed help while I helped a young mother pick out a selection of tropical fish for her daughter. The daughter knew exactly which fish out of the hundreds in the tank she had to have.

“That one!” She pointed and smiled.

I scooped the fish she pointed to. It was rejected.

“That’s the wrong one.” She whined.

The mother rolled her eyes and I dipped the net into the tank again. This went on for ten minutes until I had just the right three fishes. Katie walked by with a medium sized boa constrictor wrapped around her arm, a muscular, tattooed and pierced, leather clad biker walking behind her carrying the largest snake tank we sold.

“I sold Henry! He’s been here almost a year. Billy, do you remember what the prize is for the winner of who sells the most?” She asked.

I held up the three fish and said, “Look, I made a sale too!”

“It’s dead animal and bird cage duty for a week.” She laughed and flounced her hair as she walked away. The biker wagged his doubly pierced tongue at me then smiled to reveal several gold teeth.

“Cute ain’t she!” He growled.

The United Nations man was now at the bird area and I watched a strange scene unfold before me. The couple to whom I sold the doves was standing hand in hand, holding the birds in their cage across from the strange man. He was speaking to them quietly, making small gestures with his hands. I moved over to listen.

“It is really a very simple proposition and should be understandable, even to you. For centuries, your minor efforts towards making the world a better place have met with failure after failure. Even your best representatives have been deeply flawed individuals, often doing more damage than healing. And in the end isn’t that what you want, healing?” He spoke smoothly with an accent that I couldn’t place.

The couple stood there listening and looking at one another. The UN man continued.

“If you simply give me the doves then all will be well and you will never want for anything again. Is it so difficult for you to let go of your primitive superstitions and embrace the oldest truths? My offer will only last until I finish looking at the kittens.”

The couple watched him walk away and spoke to each in hushed tones. A fat woman wearing a fur coat and holding a pug in her arms stopped to stare at them. Mark, one of the part timers, was holding a white kitten and showing it to the UN man who was gently stroking its soft fur.

“Is there anything I can help you with?” I asked the couple.

They glanced at me but continued their conversation.

“I can ring that up for you now if you’d like.” I asked again.

They smiled at me and walked towards the registers to pay for the birds. I saw the UN man pointing to a kitten and speaking with Emily. A few minutes later

Emily walked by carrying a dozen cans of cat food. Trailing behind her was the UN man carrying the white kitten in a travel cage and behind him was his security detail carrying all the cat toys a young girl’s kitten could ever use.

The UN man stopped to whisper to me. “Pay no attention to them. Their time has passed. My time has come. I’ll see you at the party.”

I was wondering what in the world he was talking about, not sure how or if I should respond. A pair of teenage girls wanting information about rabbits rescued me from having to say anything.

“They love to be handled, only remember to be gentle with them.” I said to the girls as I demonstrated the correct way to hold a bunny. I handed it back to the girl and hoped to make another sale when I noticed that the animals continued their chattering with wild abandon.

“Billy!” Hissed Katie from the end of the aisle.
“Hey Katie, did the UN man leave? He was weird.

“Billy come here!” She hissed again.

I put the rabbit back in the cage and said to the customers, ”Be right back.”

Katie pulled me by the arm to the fish display near the entrance to the store and pointed to the first column of tanks, stacked three high. The top one was filled with angelfish. They were all dead.

“No way. They were fine when I checked this morning. Was there something in the food?” I turned the tank light off and hoped none of the customers would notice before we had a chance to remove the dead fish and clean the tank.

“I saw it happen Billy. A customer wanted a specific fish so I was looking right at them and they all just went belly up at the same time.” She had a hitch in her voice. Dead animals didn’t usually bother her.

“Don’t touch the tanks. It might be electrical.” I said.

“Then why aren’t all the tanks effected?  She asked.

“I don’t know…” I began then stopped abruptly as all the jumbo goldfish in the tank below it stopped swimming and floated to the top. “No way.” I said.

I ran to the back of the store and turned off the power to the circulating pump and tank lights.

“Bill, what’s going on?” Asked Emily.

“There’s something wrong with the tanks.” I said and motioned her to the front of the store.

Katie was bent over looking at the third row of fish tanks. A school of tiny neons stopped abruptly, as if an invisible barrier were thrust in front of them, and slowly floated to the top of the tank. As they reached the top the fish in the tank above them, large goldfish, experienced the same fate as their neighbors below them. Emily put her glasses on and wrinkled up her nose.

“I’ve never seen anything like that before.” She said.

We walked along the perimeter of the store in horrified fascination as tank after tank of fish died. Halfway to the end Emily left to call the company that serviced our pumps and filters. As the last tank of Koi and turtles met the fate of the others I became aware that the bird area was directly to my left.

Katie asked, “Billy, you don’t think it was the UN man doing this do you?”

“How could he have? He didn’t touch the fish. What did he have a ray gun or…”

Like shooting stars the doves, pigeons, finches, budgies, parrots, cockatails, minas, cardinals, bluebirds, and sparrows all fell to the floors of their cages as if a giant hand had performed some kind of evil magic upon them.

Fred, a large African Parrot who spoke a dozen phrases keeled over and hit the ground with a thud. Katie began crying and several parents with small children swiftly escorted their young charges out of the store. As the last birds fell my eyes traveled to the cat and dog rooms. My heart was pounding in my chest and I ran into the dog kennel and grabbed an armload of three wriggling puppies and went back out to the main floor. Emily stood over one of the cat cages and I heard her shout and back away with her hands over her mouth.

I looked down at the puppies in my arms, a dachshund, a spaniel, and a white terrier.

“Are you ok boys?” I asked them.

Katie ran into the dog area and quickly ran out again.

“They’re all dead Billy!” She cried.

“Not all of them are.” I said.

As soon as the words left my lips the animals in my arms each gave a little jerk and fell limp in my arms.

“Shit!” I said, as I wondered if it were an air born contaminant.

For the rest of the day Emily, the part-timers, and myself cleaned out the cages and pens of dead animals. Katie was too distraught to be of much use so Emily had me drive her home and call a friend to stay with her.

“I called the vet. He’s going to check the animals for contaminants. Did you happen to get the license plate number of the UN man?” Emily asked.

“No, we should check the receipts to get his name and address. Maybe he was contaminated with something, or someone from his entourage was?” I said, not believing it even as I said it.

“No Bill, he was…different. There was something not right about him.” Said Emily.

Later in the day we searched for a check, credit card receipt, or bill of sale and could find none.

“You mean he just walked out with a cat and all that stuff without paying?” I asked Mark.

“No.” He said. “The UN man paid with cash and didn’t leave a paper trail behind.  It was six hundred dollars worth of merchandise and he didn’t sign up for anything that would give us an address or name.”

“Could you describe him to the police if you had to?” I asked.

Mark looked at his hands and muttered something unintelligible.

“What?” I asked.

“I said I don’t want to get involved. That guy was trouble and if you were to cross him he’d eat you alive. I’m sorry he wrecked our store but if you want me to testify against him I won’t.” He said. “I’ve got to do the receipts, can I go?” He asked.

“Yes, sure Mark. It’s been a tough day for all of us.” I put a hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze.

Mark’s reluctance aside, I’d hoped to at least know the man’s name. I stood there wondering if a call to the United Nations would yield any information. Emily nipped that idea in the bud.

“We’re not going to involve the police Bill. Our insurance will cover the loss of the animals and I’ve called in a lot of favors owed to me. We’ll be back in business the day after tomorrow. I just hope no one spreads rumors about what happened here. That would be bad for business.” She said.

“Emily, this guy killed our animals! I can’t believe you don’t want to go after him.” I said.

“We don’t know that he did anything at all Bill and I don’t want to go making accusations against someone like him. Anyway it was only the animals at the walls of the store. The rodents and reptiles survived. So did the spiders and bugs.” She said.

“That’s just creepy. We should go after this guy.” I said.

“No. I don’t want to hear any more about it.”

“Are you afraid of him?” I asked, incredulous.

Emily had never been afraid of anyone. She demanded and received respect from both man and beast. I couldn’t believe she was going to let the man get away without at least asking some questions.

“I’m not afraid of any man Bill. You know I have friends on police forces in most of the towns within a hundred miles of here, but I’m not going to ask them to do something that would get them in trouble.” She paused and picked non-existent lint off of her sweater. “Did you look into his eyes Bill?”

“No, I didn’t.” I said.

“He had the most beautiful, kind, gentle, eyes I’d ever seen in my entire life. When he looked at me it felt like he was looking into my soul with perfect love and forgiveness. I’ve never had an experience like that before. If he looked at me again like that I’d promise to sacrifice my own granddaughter for his sake, without a second thought. I’d strangle her with my own hands. Do you hear what I’m saying? He had power over me.”

“Are you serious? Is he like some kind of Svengali? Look Emily, It’s not my store but…” I began.

“No, it’s not your store. And you’d do well to remember that.” She said with venom I’d never imagined coming from her, and walked away.

I chalked her bad behavior up the stress of the day. I stopped to check on Katie on the way home.

“Hi Billy.” She gave me a hug and a peck on the cheek. “Did you figure out what happened?”

“No, but the store will be re-stocked by Friday. Is your mom here?” I didn’t think she would be.

“Out with friends.”

Katie’s eyes were rimmed with red and her mascara was smudged. She led me into the kitchen where her friend Sarah sat at the breakfast nook shuffling a deck of cards. Piles of coins and several beer bottles were on either side of the table. A classical music station was playing a piece I recognized.

“Well, it’s better than Christmas music.” I said. 

Sarah laughed. “It’s ‘The Messiah’ Bill, the ultimate Christmas music.”

“Right. It’s good despite that. Listen, I only stopped by to see if you’re ok and you are so I need to get going.” I said.

“Hey Billy take some of this coffee. It’s from Sarah’s Nicaraguan mission trip.” She poured some coffee in a travel mug for me.

“Actually we have it delivered every month now. All the proceeds go right to the growers where the church we support is located. It keeps them employed and out of poverty. Good works that taste great.” She said.

I took a sip. It was very rich, very smooth. “Not bad. Thanks Kate, Sarah. I’ll see you later.” I hugged Katie again and opened the door.

“You should come to our Christmas Eve service Bill. Katie’s going to come with me. I can promise you eggnog and schnapps afterwards.” Said Sarah.

She’d been trying to get me to go to her church for a year.

“I’ll think about it. Good night.”

“Good night.”

There was one more nasty surprise in store for me before my day from hell ended.

Two local cops were waiting at my door. The faces of my family and friends flashed through my mind and a hollow feeling sunk to my gut. I recognized one of the cops. I’d graduated from high school with him.

“Brett, what’s wrong?” I said.

“Sorry if we scared you Bill. Everything’s ok, we just need you to check something out.” He said with a reassuring smile.

“Sure, come on in guys.” I opened the door as Brett explained.

“A couple was killed in a car wreck on Route 28. They had no identification whatsoever. The only scrap of paper they had on them was a receipt and a list of instructions about bird care from your store.” Brett held out some familiar flyers and booklets we gave to new bird owners. “Did you sell a pair of birds to a younger couple today?” He asked.

“What kind of birds?” I asked with a sinking heart.

“Doves I think.” He said.

“Yes. I sold a pair of doves to a young couple this morning. They were so in love! This is so unfair. They were killed in a car wreck?”

“We don’t know how the couple died. They didn’t have obvious marks on them.” He said.

“What do you mean?” My mind went unbidden to the UN man.

Brett pulled out a tiny notebook and read me the facts of the case. “’The couple ran a stop light as they were traveling east at the corner of 28 and 97 at approximately 10:18am. They were moving thirty miles an hour. The car moving through the light to the south that hit them was only going ten miles an hour.’ It wasn’t much of an accident but the couple died. They’re doing an autopsy today. Well, it’s late and you know how crazy people get after a hard night of Christmas shopping. Oh, do you want the birds back? They’re in the back of the car.” He said.

“The birds survived?”

“Yes, odd isn’t it? You want them?” He asked.

I got the birds and wished Brett and his partner a good night. I sat down on my comfy leather couch with a shot glass and a bottle of Stoli. The clock chimed midnight. The doves were cooing to one another rhythmically and by my fifth shot the room was getting fuzzy. I tried to lose myself in a book of poetry and heard the clock strike one. I thought about going to my warm, soft bed but was caught in the twilight world between waking and sleeping. My eyelids got heavy then they shut, but I was not asleep.

The doves created a continuous cascade of cooing sounds that gradually changed into the melodic voices. Somehow now, in my between dreaming and waking, I understood their speech, echoing back and forth between them like an antiphonal song.

“Human, Human, Hard of Hearing.”

“Human, Human, Hard of Heart.”

“Billy, Billy, Blind and Foolish.”

“Billy, Billy, Deaf and Dumb.”

“Creature, Creature, Coal Black Heart.”

“Creature, Creature, Cold Black Heart.”

“Servant, Servant, Who’s Your Master?”

“Servant, Salve, Who’s The Monster?”

“Child, Child, Who Will Seek You?”

“Child, Child, Whom Do You Seek?”

“Men of Salem, ‘Ware The Unman.”

“Men of Salem, Where’s the Unman?”

“Human, Human, Fear, Not Death.”
“Human, Human, Fear Not Death.”

I awoke stiff and frozen, sitting in my chair with the vodka bottle knocked to the floor. My throat burned and my eyes swollen shut. The VCR clock was blinking 12:00 proclaiming that I’d lost power. I pulled the sheet off the birdcage and saw the doves dead at the bottom of the cage. I threw up twice then went to work.

The five of us spent the morning restocking the fish, birds, cats, and dogs. At

noon we opened the doors and customers streamed in. Curiously, no one mentioned yesterday’s incident but I saw everyone glancing nervously at the fish tanks and birdcages. Katie was quiet.

“I’m coming to see your band at the party Friday Billy. Sarah will be there so it should be safe.” Said Katie.

“Sarah will be there?” I asked. She was cute.

“I told her you would play ‘O Come, O Come Emmanuel’ if you came with me. You can do that right?” She asked.

“Sure, we can play it. We can play anything.” I said, not knowing what song she was talking about.

With only four shopping days until Christmas the store stayed open until nine. At eight I began tallying the receipts. Emily stuck her head in the office. She was holding one of the new puppies gently stroking its head.

“How’d we do Bill?” She asked.

“Considering we lost three quarters of our stock two days ago we’re doing great.” I showed her the numbers. “We sold a ton of those doggie gift baskets Mark put together. He’s very creative. We should give him a bonus for that.”

“He’s a good kid. Oh, I forgot. Your friend Brett is downstairs, he says he wants some birds for his in-laws. Those new parakeets look nice.” She filled her coffee cup with the last of the Ethiopian brew. “This is great stuff Bill. Don’t stay too late, I need you fresh and healthy for the last mad rush.”

I followed her downstairs and saw Brett, in civilian clothes, looking at the birds.

“I hear you need some birds for your in-laws.” I said with a smile.

“Hey Bill how are you? Actually I came to talk with you about that couple that were killed.” He put his fingers through the bars of one of the canary cages and wiggled it around.

“Oh, did you find out what killed them, or who they are?” I asked.

“There’s still no ID on the bodies. The car was registered to a couple in New York who reported it stolen last month. The plates were taken from an elderly woman’s car on Grove Street who hardly ever drove and didn’t realize they were missing until we went to her house. The cause of death is undetermined and the coroner said their otherwise healthy hearts simply stopped beating. It’s very weird. Can you shed any light on them Bill?” He asked.

I wanted to tell Brett about the UN man’s strange encounter with the couple but a little voice in my head, which I usually ignored, piped up and told me to remain silent.

“They bought the birds and left. It’s a shame about them. You’d think they would have some form of ID.”
“Well I wasn’t expecting much but I had to ask. How are the doves?” He asked.

“They’re fine.” I lied, not wanting to go into the weirdness of the last few days.

“You know, I think I’ll take these birds in this cage. Can you set them aside for me and I’ll pick them up tomorrow night before you close?” He asked.

“I’ll have it all set for you. Pick it up any time before nine.” I said.

The next day flew by. I left early to pick up the truck with our equipment in it and drove it to the hotel where we were playing. Tom was there already making sure that everything was perfect for his employees. The other band members arrived and we set up our amps, lights, and PA in a flash, did a sound check and mingled with the people from Tom’s company. I’d worked summers with some of the guys and we got caught up with each other. Katie and Sarah arrived with their friend Melody. They wore their matching earrings shaped like Christmas tree ornaments. Melody sported a “Jesus is the Reason for the Season” pin on her green dress. She whispered “I’ve been praying for you brother.” Into my ear as she hugged me. I never knew what to say when she said that.

Katie said, “I’m nervous about singing. Do you ever get nervous before you play?”

“Not anymore.” I replied. “It’s all pretty mundane now. Your earrings are cute.”

Sarah and Katie ambled over to Jeff the keyboard player and went over part of a song they were going to sing with us.

I tuned up my basses and played some scales to warm up. Geena and Emily arrived. Geena made a beeline for the bar and Emily spoke with an old friend. Our band began playing a few light rock songs, which we all hated, while guests munched on tasty appetizers.

The unexpected arrival of the UN man sent a chill down my spine. It caught me off guard while I was daydreaming my way through an Eagle’s song. Tom and Stan immediately walked up to him with smiles and handshakes. Geena joined them, drink in hand, and laughed loudly at something the UN man said. It dawned on me that Tom and Stan must have been building a house for the UN man and that he’d known about the pet store through him. Emily and Katie walked over to where I was looking imploringly at me, but I was playing and couldn’t talk to them. Tom motioned for Katie and Emily to come over so he could introduce them but they turned and walked to the ladies’ room. Melody and Sara weren’t so lucky. The pair stood in the middle of the room while Tom motioned for them to come and meet the UN man. I could see Melody’s lips moving rapidly but we were playing too loudly for me to hear what she was saying. Tom looked annoyed but ushered the UN man over to the bar while the ladies remained rooted where they were.

The band took a break and I went over to Melody and Sara who were rooted to the same spot. Tears were streaming down their faces, their mascara had run, and they were babbling like lunatics.

 “Hey, what’s going on? Please don’t tell me you’re speaking in tongues.” I said.

“We have to leave.” Said Melody.

“What are you talking about? You just got here and you’re the host’s wife, you can’t leave! What would Tom think?” 

“That man is evil incarnate. I didn’t see it until now. How could I have been so stupid? Look what he’s doing.” Said Sara.

The UN man was speaking with Stan. They were laughing about something.

“Ok, look, he was kind of weird at the store but he hasn’t done anything! Why don’t you go to the bathroom and get cleaned up. You’re both imagining things.” I spoke soothingly.

“We’re leaving. You should leave too before something bad happens.” Said Melody. And with that, she left.

“I’m getting Katie.” Sara left for the ladies’ room.

Tom walked up to me and asked, “Where’s everyone going? The party’s just started. What happened to my wife and Sara? My client wanted to meet them. He said he has a gift for you. Why didn’t anyone tell me he went to the store?”

“Didn’t Geena tell you what happened?” I asked.

“About the animals? Yes, so what?”

I was about to explain when I spotted Katie, Geena, Emily, Sara, Jeff, and the UN man at the back of the room.

“Hey, let’s get this straightened out.” I said.

We walked towards them and caught the middle of an animated discussion.

“…but even if you could do this why should we believe that there are no strings attached?” Asked Jeff.

“Are you insane?” Cried Geena. “Do it now! I believe you. If she want’s to be normal and go to medical school she should have that chance.”

“No, there’s something not quite right about all this. It’s too good to be true. You had something to do with all our animals dying that day in the store. I know it!” Said Emily, clutching her handbag with both fists.

“I don’t understand. Are you Jesus? Sarah said we should always trust Jesus, mama?  I thought he was coming back in the sky though.” Asked Katie.

Sarah arrived as if on cue and said, “Don’t believe him, any of you. He’s not who he says he is. Haven’t you read the book? Katie is right. This isn’t how it’s supposed to happen.”

“Even if you do not believe me, at least believe the evidence of the miracles themselves.” Said the UN man.

“What miracles? What are you talking about?” Tom asked.

The UN man stretched out his hand and touched Katie on the forehead. She smiled and he said, “Father, let them believe me. Little girl, be made whole.”

Katie laughed and said, “I feel all tingly. My head is exploding!” She laughed and smiled until tears ran down her face.

Tom stretched out his hand towards the UN man’s but Geena grabbed his arm.

She said, “Katie, are you ok?”

The UN man removed his hand from her head and smiled. “It is finished.”

“Are you all right Katie?” I asked.

“I’m fine. I feel wonderful! I understand things Billy…William.” She spoke in a voice that was hers but the intonation and the cadence had changed.

“What did you do to her?” Asked Tom.

“Trust in the Lord and he shall give you the desires of your heart.” Said the UN man. He wiped beads of sweat off of his forehead with a black handkerchief.

“I feel intelligent! Ask me something! Ask me something! Something very difficult.” She told her mother.

Geena wrung her hands together and said. “Ok…why do people get that brain disease that makes them forget who they are?”        

Katie began to rattle off what sounded like a medical encyclopedia article about the effect of prions on nerve clusters in the brain. I stood there dumbfounded. Most of the words she used were way beyond the average person’s vocabulary. She stopped talking and I asked, “Do you understand what you just said?”

“Oh Yes Billy! I’m smart now!” She gushed. “Do you know that Mr. Mann is going to provide me with a full scholarship to medical school through a United Nations fund? I’m going to be a doctor!”

“This is fantastic.” I said. Then I made the mistake of looking into the eyes of the UN man. Love, Kindness, Joy, Peace, all existed in this man’s face. I remembered what Emily had told me about him and thought, if anything, she had understated his effect on people. In the same instance all of those feelings washed over me another thought popped into my head.

“This comes with a price. He’s going to ask you to do something in return for whatever he does.”

“It is fantastic. I believe you. I believe in you Mr. Mann. My daughter and I cannot thank you enough for what you’ve done.” Geena beamed at him.

“How do we know you are the cause of Katie’s sudden jump in intellect?” Sara asked.

“If you will allow me a little demonstration. Walter…the doves.” The UN man motioned to his attendant who strode off. “Oh you of little faith. How long shall I put up with this unbelieving generation? Apparently as long as it takes!” He laughed.

“You can’t be him. The whole world would have seen him.” Said Sara.

“Didn’t my people completely miss me the first time I came? Why should things be any different now? I know what you want Sara. If you will just allow me to…” Said the UN man in pleading voice.

“Never! I’m not taking anything from you.” Said Sara.

“Perhaps this will convince you of my goodness.” Said the UN man. “Notice the poor creatures in the cage.”

I gasped as he pulled back a towel to reveal a birdcage with two dead doves at the bottom of it. He opened the cage door and extracted the dead birds dropping the cage to the floor with a “clang”.

“As you can see these poor creatures are dead. If you do not believe that I healed young Katherine’s mind perhaps this will convince you that my intentions are for you to be all that I made you to be.” The UN man spoke past us and I realized that the entire party was gathered around us, watching him.

“When I first came, I failed. It was an error on my part to leave you and expect you to build the kingdom without me. Now I am here again and will never leave you nor forsake you. Our kingdom will last forever and I will rule over you as I should have the first time I came. All you have to have is faith in me. As a token of my desire for you I give you this.” Said the UN man.

He held the two doves in his open palms, spoke a few words in a language that sounded like Arabic, then blew on them with his eyes closed. We all held our breath, waiting to see what would happen. A chill passed over me as the two doves jerked spasmodically for a few seconds then lay still in the UN man’s hands. He again blew on them and they shuddered then stood in his hands, grooming their feathers. Almost everyone in the room broke into spontaneous applause. Some thought he was a magician because they asked for another trick. Several women closer to him were crying and pleading with him to heal some medical condition. I backed away slowly because I saw the look on the UN man’s face as he gazed upon the people around him.

When he looked at me I thought I saw the most kind and loving visage I’d ever seen. But the UN man’s face had changed when I saw him looking at other people. I’d seen that look on the faces of dogs ready to bite, and in the cold, pitiless eyes of snakes as they wrapped themselves around their prey. After a few minutes of shaking hands with people, he left. The rest of the evening passed without incident but would be remembered by everyone in a slightly different form.

After the holidays Katie, who told everyone she preferred to be called Katherine, became a different person. She got 1600 on the SAT’s, graduated cum laude from college in three years, went to Yale medical school, and after her residency became the head of a chain of relief clinics founded by the UN man. All this from a girl who had spent twelve unremarkable years of public school in mostly special education classes. As the years passed I moved on from Green’s and started my own successful business selling used audio gear. As the years progressed I found myself comfortable in middle age. A worse form of Alzheimers disease caused by food additives had exploded in the western world’s populations. Europe’s, North America’s, and Canada’s health care systems would have gone bankrupt were it not for the laws legalizing involuntary euthanasia. For those unable to pass a simple, standardized memory test it was a plastic mask of carbon monoxide into quick oblivion. The cost of caring for them was deemed too high. The UN man had led the charge for the euphemistically named “Relief Centers”. He was a player in the western world’s politics, more popular than Clinton and Reagan combined.

Katie wrote me twice a year and her latest letter contained some disturbing news.  “Dear Billy (I should call you William but I can’t stop thinking of you as Billy), Mom and Grandma both failed their last memory test. Their last moments were quiet and peaceful. I administered the doses myself. Of course they had really died a long time ago. It was just their bodies that needed taking care of. You were good friend to grandma, I thought you should know.”

            Katherine

I put her most recent letter on the table with a huge pile of letters and bills that I had no idea what to do with.

“Where did I put my car keys? They were here a minute ago.” I said aloud. I was going to be late. Wandering around the house I caught myself staring at a collection of vintage guitars. Didn’t I own another red Telecaster? Could it have been stolen right from under me? I tried to think if I had two or three of them but couldn’t quite remember.

“What was I just looking for, was it my watch?” I asked with a chuckle.

No one answered me.