My Pitches For The 2027-2028 Television Season
“CROSSING THE STREET”
The Count from Sesame Street invites his Cousin from Mexico, “Body Count”, for a visit with hilarious results for the whole neighborhood. Body Count lives up to his name by counting all of the bodies to whom he “teaches Spanish”. Filming is complete and PBS confirms it has been renewed for a second season.
(At 2:40 P.M. E.S.T. the residence of one “Oscar Grouch” is being searched. Cadaver dogs and excavation machinery are on site and police are canvassing the block with pictures of an “Ernie” asking residents if they have seen him recently. Body Count was arrested at Logan Airport while waiting for a flight to Moskow)
“THE GIRLS OF PHI BETA KAPPA”
“Groot” from the Marvel Universe, “Hodor” from the Game of Thrones Universe, and “Timmy” from the South Park Universe are transported by Luna from the Harry Potter Universe to our reality. They share a wing in a college sorority house where they struggle to adapt to our world. They can only communicate by using different vocal inflections of “I Am Groot”, “Hodor” and “Timmy”.
Episode One: Groot misunderstands Jenny’s instructions to go “weed the garden” and instead makes the garden “grow lots of weed”.
Episode Two: Timmy and Sophia, who is also wheelchair bound, go on a date at a comedy club/restaurant . It starts out ok but “Timmy” turns out to be the name of Sophia’s previous boyfriend who was driving Sophia home when he lost control of the car which left her unable to walk. She becomes increasingly despondent as the night goes on and Timmy only says “Timmy!”. The night is saved when “Jimmy”, from South Park performs a killer set which leaves everyone in stitches. The night ends with Sophia and Timmy holding hands and saying sweet “Timmy’s” to each other.
Episode Three: In order to help with rent at the sorority, Hodor gets a sales job at the “Big & Tall Men’s” store at the local mall. The store turns out to be a front for the Russian Mafia where Hodor spends one shift per week terrifying Dimitry’s enemies and breaking whatever body parts to which Dmitry points. Hodor makes bank and buys two of the sorority girls (Holly and Ivy) new prom dresses after Groot and Timmy destroyed them performing their live stage version of “Fried Green Tomatoes”.
Episode Four: The regional inspector for the Sorority, Mrs. Kinsey, arrives unannounced for an inspection which will determine whether PBK keeps their accreditation. Hodor is painted white, put on a pedestal and poses as the Rodin statue “The Thinker”, which is Mrs. Kinsey’s favorite artwork. Timmy is “hired” to be a “Handi-Car” driver to chauffer Mrs. Kinsey around the campus, she is charmed and offers to hire him full time. Groot grows a couple of vines and the girls attach a seat to them and Mrs. Kinsey spends an hour swinging and reminiscing about PBK.
Post Credit Scene for Episode Four
Mrs. Kinsey is filmed head on swinging. She has several lines for this post credit scene.